A Prime In Style?

Did you know when you were in your prime? You know, when you looked good, had style, and loads of confidence. When you had a style that everyone else wanted to immulate. When you could throw something on, walk out the door, and enter the party looking like a million bucks. When everyone asked YOU where you got your shoes from? Or where you got those glasses from? Or they love how you wear your hair.

Somehow, when I least expected it, it disappeared. I was shopping for new glasses and I was simply perplexed as to which pair would look good on me. I looked at the young salesperson and said, "Gee, I don't know. What do you think? What do you like?" And without hesitation, she handed me a pair that did look cool on me and I ended up buying them. The next day I got many compliments on them. I still receive compliments on them even today.

I left there thinking, wondering if I'd lost my ability to know what was cool and hip. Had I been too busy with the kids to even notice that another era in style had passed me by? What was next? Would I be the pathetic woman with lipstick on her teeth or too much blush on her cheeks? You know you've all done this...you see a woman with makeup that needs to be blended in better, but you can't find the courage to tell her. Or the old lady with lipstick on her teeth and you feel so sorry for her, you have to enlighten her.

So I buy a fashion magazine. I look through my closet. I throw out the outdated items and buy a couple of hip accessories and cheap, trendy tops. I make sure not to purchase anything that is out of my age bracket. The next day, I put something together and I was feeling pretty good about it and myself. I had lunch plans with a friend and as I walked in to meet her, I noticed a young girl at the counter. She had a bird's nest for a hair style, her nails needed a fill-in, and her hoops were so large I could put my arm through them.

Some styles are ageless and some ages are stylish, but if you can be both and comfortable with it (even if you need a little help sometimes) then that's all that matters when it comes to "your look."

Looking for Mr. Greenway, not Mr. Goodbar

Like many others my age, I have experienced a need to get back to church. I admit that I've been out of church for many years. I attribute it to a busy lifestyle and a partner who did not attend church either. When I was younger, I attended Sunday school, church, Vacation Bible School, etc. But somewhere between high school and college, I stopped going to church.

Now that I have children, and I have been blessed in so many ways, and I am living in a world full of constant change, I want to find a church home. I have visited a few churches, but I can't seem to find one where I feel at home. Everyone is nice and the facilities are nice, and the times are convenient, but it is really different.

For one, this "Contemporary" service seems to be the service I should be attending, but it seems so odd to me. The music portion of the service is so loud and seems to take up more time than the actual sermon. And frankly, I'm just not comfortable with the style of music either, it's way too upbeat. It just doesn't seem as geniune as what I'm use to and I know that's just my problem, but the length of the music portion exceeds the time limit I think it should have.

Secondly, when did all the pastors get degrees? Does every pastor/preacher have a Phd? I'm not saying that more education is a negative thing, but it's definitely different.

Third, I am taking my children with me to church. I want them to help me/us find a good church. During one service, the pastor's sermon was on being a good spouse. Before I knew it, he was getting borderline explicit and I wondered what the teens, kids, and other unmarried people were getting out of this sermon.

I suppose I'm trying to find my favorite preacher, my childhood preacher, Mr. Greenway. He didn't have a Phd, was quite simple, modest, and seemed to have a way of delivering his sermon so everyone got the message. Everyone took away something from his sermon. Frankly, these days I have trouble getting the concept of what the preacher is preaching. I listen to the sermon and look at the title and I'm completely lost. I'm a smart person, educated and somewhat worldly (whatever that involves) and although I don't have a Phd, I don't understand how the sermon's message relates to people today. I feel like I'm in a theology class. I look around at the congregation and they seem bored, unmoved. I don't even see anyone nodding their head in agreement.

I'm not giving up on my quest. And I'm not settling for something that doesn't feel right to me. I will continue my search for finding Mr. Greenway.

To Be Continued.....

Cheetos with Wheat Grain & Vitamins

I have to plug my new favorite t.v. reality show- Jon & Kate Plus Eight on Discovery or TLC channel. If you've seen it, you know why I love it. I mean if you have kids, or like kids, then you watch it and love it for the same reasons I do. If you haven't watched it, you should.
1- Those kids. They are adorable. All of them, not just the sextuplets (sp?) but, all are adorable, and interesting, and sweet. And not mine.
2-The couple, Jon and Kate are adorable, inspiring, interesting, informative, and still able to show affection toward one another. They are good parents and role models. Also, they are real! They are a real couple who fight, disagree, and have power struggles. But at the end of it all, they apologize, they love each other, their kids, and they work together.
3- Kate- She inspires me. If she can do it with eight kids, I can. My kids are older, but I do get some ideas from her still.
4-Their love for one another. Jon said in one episode that he would do whatever it took to give his kids what they needed. That's one reason why they are doing this show. His dedication is inspiring.
Watch it and you will see why I love it.

Do you have a minute? I think I need to vomit.

People deal with their problems in different ways. Some people yell and scream. Others are passive aggressive. Personally, I like to vomit. Verbal vomiting is what I like to call it. Anyone who really knows me, knows that when I have something troubling me, I must vomit. It's that simple. I have to get it off my chest. Release the weight off my shoulders; get that monkey off my back. I will carry around that problem like a suitcase through a packed airport until I am able to regurgitate it. (And by the way, the picture at the left has absolutely nothing to do with this post, except that it's the only one I could download from my files without a hassle. I really wanted the one with 2 ladies chatting over lattes.)
I'm not the only one who uses this technique. Oh, lot's of females do it. Females carry around so much guilt anyway, that they really have to have something that works for them or the literally would explode, especially mothers. Guilt is the parttime job that mothers have. (Wow, that's a great topic. I'll have to use that for another post.) So here's the mom (me or you) with the kids, the school issues, the Mount Rushmore of laundry, the teachers who don't budge from their lesson plans from 10 years ago (another great post), the husband (I really don't need to expand on this, do I?), the house, the mother down the street who won't discipline her child so he kicks your kid in the balls, the young girl at the checkout counter who would rather talk to her coworker about what happened downtown than ring you up quickly and now you are late to pick up the kids (hmm, maybe she's verbal vomiting, too.) Then your internal "stomach" just can't take it anymore and you must find the closest friend via phone, text, or gee, just use that stranger in the Foodlion to vent about the girl at the last store at least. By the way, beware of the female who walks around with the complete stress attack face- she either doesn't know she has to vomit, or can't find/trust someone to vomit to. This is a ticking timebomb; take cover immediately.
But, don't think I go around vomiting all the time. I recipricate, too. It's my female obligation to do so. It's a great boost to the old ego, too, like volunteering. I love when someone else does the verbal vomit on me. 1- It makes my problems seem so small. 2- I know that other females need to verbal vomit just like me, especially those women who like to pretend they always have it together. 3- I know I've really helped someone else. And females are natural helpers. I really feel like I'm doing a civic duty when I sit and listen to a complete stranger ramble on about a gripe. The other day a woman described to me the day she was having with her job, getting lost while driving in the car which had no air conditioning, being late to pick up her daughter from school, who was in detention. (my kid was in detention, too, but it didn't seem so bad after all that.) So while she verbal vomited, I did what any female would do, I held her hair back, no just kidding. I listened quietly, nodded my head in agreement, and waited until it was all over before I spoke. She apologized, but she didn't need to. I told her that her day would get better, and not to worry. But let me reiterate one important point here- listening.
Listening is very important to a successful verbal vomit. To a newcomer on the receiving end of the verbal vomit, it is often overlooked and undervalued. A newcomer might feel the need to interject prematurely. (I have a relative who does this and I just keep right on driving my bus through that road block, even if I feel the need to repeat a certain point- I will say it over and over.) They may feel the need to give some therapy advice because that's what females do. They give advice and try to help. But the timing of the advice and help needs to be after everything has been regurgitated. Otherwise, you'll be medicating, then vomiting the medication. And the person doing the vomiting will just keep on, and on, until the bad feeling has subsided. And what if the receiver interjects prematurely, then leaves? Well, then the vomiter will have to go on to someone else, starting from the beginning of the story, and hope to get it all out this time.
Speaking of the receiving end, men are not good receivers, except maybe gay men. Men are fixers, or so they think. Men are also impatient and those two qualities- fixing and impatience, are poison to a verbal vomit. They don't listen to the whole vomit. They don't want to be vomited on because to them, it sounds like nails on the chalkboard. I'm not beating a dead horse here, but I just want to repeat...MEN DON'T LISTEN and they don't take time to listen. Well, except when their pants are down. So anyway, they don't have time to hear the whole thing, then they aren't really listening to the details in the 1st place, and then they just go in, with their hammer and screwdriver and fix that thing that's making the squeak, and keeping them from watching football, or whatever. A friend of mine didn't know this trait, and at the end of it she said to her husband, "I don't need you to "fix it," I just wanted to get it off my chest and talk about it." By the way, my mom is a great receiver. She never interrupts, ever; shows empathy (well, usually) which for me, this means she always takes MY side (another thing men don't do-(dag, another great post) my guy always plays devil's advocate which is completely annoying; and my mom usually doesn't give specific advice, which makes me feel good because eventually I solve my own problems, just like a grown up should; and she always has time for the verbal vomit, even if she is in the middle of cooking, she'll turn the stove off, sit down and take as long as I need. Thanks Mom! Speaking of receivers, each person I talk to plays a different role and I know who to go to when- one sister gives me advice like the Encyclopedia Britannica, one gives information but generally gives me the "stop feeling sorry for yourself" therapy speech and slap in the face, and then one friend gets as dramatic as I do because she lives here and knows most of the people I am talking about.

On a final note, here are some tips for verbal vomiting:

• some vomiting takes more than one go-around, just like a bad stomach virus. If you feel the need or urge to let it out again because the last 2 or 3 didn't work, then by all means, go for it. But be sure to find different people to vomit to; don't pick the same person/people over and over again. They'll start running the next time they see you. The other day my child's teacher did something so infuriating that it took 5-6 people to verbal vomit to, before I even felt a little relief (well, during two of those I was gathering information from parents familiar with the classroom.)
• you might not need to get around a lot of other people- you don't want to spread it to unwilling, innocent bystanders (the kids, the family dog, good employees.) Just like a virus, don't spread your germ to others.
• also, don't eat any greasy foods, in other words, stay away from stressful situations or people that stress you out.

During my last verbal vomiting binge I made sure to do what's listed above, and I also did the following:

• I asked if they had a minute
• I kept it brief
• I interjected some humor so as to keep it interesting for the receiver
• tired not to use my hands too much; gets the receiver confused
• I bought lunch for one person (yes, I really did this)
• I complimented them on their hair or a piece of clothing sometime during the vomit
• and most importantly, I didn't get any verbal vomit on them (they walked away without feeling emotionally drained)

So they next time a total stranger (or a good friend) walks up to you (or calls you) and says, "You'll never believe what just happened to me........" Or .....when your child's teacher calls you at 9 a.m. and asks if you have a minute.........you'll know what to do and then you can thank me.

Ahem, you're welcome.

Cheetos For the Brain- Part 3

I dare use the title "Cheetos For The Brain" when I write about the next t.v. show- "Deadliest Catch." It is more educational than the other shows I have placed in this category. I love this show. The kids love this show. Everyone I know loves this show.

I can't believe what these men have to go through to catch these crabs and earn a living. Can you imagine breaking off huge blocks of ice only to have it slammed into your ankles as a huge icy wave crashes over your head? How can you feel your own body in temperatures like that? And what if your coworker decides he can't take it anymore and quits? Now you have to do his job and your job, too. Sleep-deprived fishermen. How do they avoid making life-threatening mistakes? Sitting at your cubicle, craving some Starbuck's? Go down the street and grab one. Not for these guys. If it's not coffee break time, you are out of luck.

I have so much respect for people like that. God Bless them!

Oops we did it again

His Royal Highness is named Leonardo. I can't believe we have another dog, but how could I resist? We are working with our yellow lab on her nurturing skills. I hope she will let her female nature take over and she will learn to protect her not pounce on her.

A Public Service Announcement

You can call me paranoid, or you can thank me. I came across this website a while ago and everytime I pass it on to a friend, they always thank me. It is the NC Registry for Sexual Offenders- http://www.ncfindoffender.com/

You can plug in your address- home address, workplace address, your child's daycare/school, etc. and search a 1, 3, or 5 mile radius to find the sexual offenders in your neighborhood or other location. They show the picture, address, and specifics of the offender, his crime, etc. It was startling to me to search this website for the first time. Some faces actually looked familiar.
If you do not live in North Carolina, I'm sure your state has the same sort of website as well.

In addition, the State's Attorney General has a website, too. It is- http://www.noscamnc.gov/
Just as the name infers, it focuses on scams to people and businesses in North Carolina. Recently I heard a lecture given by someone from the governor's office regarding internet safety with your children/teens. Even though my kids don't use the internet without me, I found it to be very informative.

There's A New Dog In Town

"If you don't own a dog, at least one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your life" - Roger Caras

I mean, c'mon. Do I even need to write anything else for this blog?

Yes, I know, she's made mistakes and sometimes she does things that irritate me, but she's so darn adorable. And all she wants is love and attention, some food and lots of water. Gee this dog drinks so much more than our little dachshund.

I just have to say that growing up, I never had a dog. Once I moved out on my own, we got one and I've been hooked ever since. It's like someone who said they've been rich and they've been poor. And they much prefer being rich....well, I much prefer being with dog, than without.

Ending of a Cafe

Well, I am approaching the end of an era, so to speak. We sold our cute, little cafe. Although I am relieved to be rid of the responsibility, I must say it was a learning experience. When you own your own business it is very different from working for someone else. The burden of responsibility is heavier, but the rewards can be more fulfilling, too. You will learn a lot about yourself, too. But I met a lot of great people and enjoyed most everyday I walked into work. But I really enjoy driving by and not having to stop there, everyday.