Aunt Bee

The product has been discontinued....

2010-11-18T17:19:00.000-08:00

Discontinued. The dreaded word that I have heard one too many times. I don't know why it always seems to happen to the things I like/love. Like at the makeup counter. I finally discover the perfect lipstick/lip gloss only to find out a few months later that it's been discontinued. The shade was not too red or too pale. It didn't go on too gloppy and the amount of gloss was age appropriate; not too shiny like a teen idol.

The same thing happened with my favorite facial cream. When I asked the counter person about it she acted like she'd never heard of it. I guess her boss told her not to acknowledge it ever existed. Funny thing is...I had an empty bottle in my purse. When I produced the bottle she looked like she'd seen a dead person. She was mortified, then blushed, and showed a more expensive alternative, but never admitted that they use to sell my old cream.

My most recent drama of the discontinued kind is my underwear. Yes, my underwear. I remember the horror I felt when I first discovered that they were not readily available at the store. But just the week before I was so happy to see that they were on sale and although I didn't like the funky prints and colors, I bought everything in my size. I know, I know. I should have seen it coming. It goes on clearance, then it's discontinued. It's a painful memory. I went from store to store looking for my favorite, my only underwear. I'm not the jump-around kind. I can't just go out and buy another kind of underwear. I find something I love and I stick with it. Eventually I did try other styles, but they weren't the same; not at all. I even looked online. Nothing. It was as if they never existed. Just like the lady at the makeup counter!

I blocked it out of my mind for a while, at least until I could come up with a new plan. Maybe I could call or write the company. But my tags were faded so I couldn't even reference the style number. Do I take a photo of them? No, that's too weird. Seems desperate. But I was desperate. Some of my beloved underwear were starting to tear at the seams, so I sewed them up. Maybe I could find some fabric identical to these and make new ones!? (Actually I haven't given up on this idea; just haven't gone to the fabric store yet.) I even contemplated going pantiless. I soon realized that I'm just not that sort of gal. I have too much of my mother in me. Just switch to another style? Sure, that might be easy for you, but you didn't know my underwear. They were perfect, really. They were thin, but not too thin. They never, ever gave me a pantyline, and they never rode up. (BTW- I tried the ones by Hanes that say they won't ride up, and guess what? They do!! Save your money.) And last but not least, my favorite undies had the perfect blend of cotton and lycra. Stretch with cotton comfort, and no yucky polyester...aahhh.

Oh how I miss going to the store and buying the season's new colors of my favorite underwear. I'm still hoarding the few pairs I have left; just like Elaine and her beloved sponges on Seinfeld. I still sew up the rips. I handle them like they are the ancient scripts from Egyptian times. If I just understood why? Why they discontinued my favorite underwear, it might make it a little easier to go on, move on, to another (gasp) kind of underwear.

So here's the lesson for today. If you fall in love with something, whether it's makeup, clothing, shoes, linens, etc., BUY IN BULK. You'll save yourself a lot of heart ache in the long run.

A Prime In Style?

2008-10-05T19:45:00.000-07:00

Did you know when you were in your prime? You know, when you looked good, had style, and loads of confidence. When you had a style that everyone else wanted to immulate. When you could throw something on, walk out the door, and enter the party looking like a million bucks. When everyone asked YOU where you got your shoes from? Or where you got those glasses from? Or they love how you wear your hair.

Somehow, when I least expected it, it disappeared. I was shopping for new glasses and I was simply perplexed as to which pair would look good on me. I looked at the young salesperson and said, "Gee, I don't know. What do you think? What do you like?" And without hesitation, she handed me a pair that did look cool on me and I ended up buying them. The next day I got many compliments on them. I still receive compliments on them even today.

I left there thinking, wondering if I'd lost my ability to know what was cool and hip. Had I been too busy with the kids to even notice that another era in style had passed me by? What was next? Would I be the pathetic woman with lipstick on her teeth or too much blush on her cheeks? You know you've all done this...you see a woman with makeup that needs to be blended in better, but you can't find the courage to tell her. Or the old lady with lipstick on her teeth and you feel so sorry for her, you have to enlighten her.

So I buy a fashion magazine. I look through my closet. I throw out the outdated items and buy a couple of hip accessories and cheap, trendy tops. I make sure not to purchase anything that is out of my age bracket. The next day, I put something together and I was feeling pretty good about it and myself. I had lunch plans with a friend and as I walked in to meet her, I noticed a young girl at the counter. She had a bird's nest for a hair style, her nails needed a fill-in, and her hoops were so large I could put my arm through them.

Some styles are ageless and some ages are stylish, but if you can be both and comfortable with it (even if you need a little help sometimes) then that's all that matters when it comes to "your look."

Looking for Mr. Greenway, not Mr. Goodbar

2008-10-05T18:29:00.000-07:00

Like many others my age, I have experienced a need to get back to church. I admit that I've been out of church for many years. I attribute it to a busy lifestyle and a partner who did not attend church either. When I was younger, I attended Sunday school, church, Vacation Bible School, etc. But somewhere between high school and college, I stopped going to church.

Now that I have children, and I have been blessed in so many ways, and I am living in a world full of constant change, I want to find a church home. I have visited a few churches, but I can't seem to find one where I feel at home. Everyone is nice and the facilities are nice, and the times are convenient, but it is really different.

For one, this "Contemporary" service seems to be the service I should be attending, but it seems so odd to me. The music portion of the service is so loud and seems to take up more time than the actual sermon. And frankly, I'm just not comfortable with the style of music either, it's way too upbeat. It just doesn't seem as geniune as what I'm use to and I know that's just my problem, but the length of the music portion exceeds the time limit I think it should have.

Secondly, when did all the pastors get degrees? Does every pastor/preacher have a Phd? I'm not saying that more education is a negative thing, but it's definitely different.

Third, I am taking my children with me to church. I want them to help me/us find a good church. During one service, the pastor's sermon was on being a good spouse. Before I knew it, he was getting borderline explicit and I wondered what the teens, kids, and other unmarried people were getting out of this sermon.

I suppose I'm trying to find my favorite preacher, my childhood preacher, Mr. Greenway. He didn't have a Phd, was quite simple, modest, and seemed to have a way of delivering his sermon so everyone got the message. Everyone took away something from his sermon. Frankly, these days I have trouble getting the concept of what the preacher is preaching. I listen to the sermon and look at the title and I'm completely lost. I'm a smart person, educated and somewhat worldly (whatever that involves) and although I don't have a Phd, I don't understand how the sermon's message relates to people today. I feel like I'm in a theology class. I look around at the congregation and they seem bored, unmoved. I don't even see anyone nodding their head in agreement.

I'm not giving up on my quest. And I'm not settling for something that doesn't feel right to me. I will continue my search for finding Mr. Greenway.

To Be Continued.....

Cheetos with Wheat Grain & Vitamins

2008-05-04T08:25:00.000-07:00

I have to plug my new favorite t.v. reality show- Jon & Kate Plus Eight on Discovery or TLC channel. If you've seen it, you know why I love it. I mean if you have kids, or like kids, then you watch it and love it for the same reasons I do. If you haven't watched it, you should.
1- Those kids. They are adorable. All of them, not just the sextuplets (sp?) but, all are adorable, and interesting, and sweet. And not mine.
2-The couple, Jon and Kate are adorable, inspiring, interesting, informative, and still able to show affection toward one another. They are good parents and role models. Also, they are real! They are a real couple who fight, disagree, and have power struggles. But at the end of it all, they apologize, they love each other, their kids, and they work together.
3- Kate- She inspires me. If she can do it with eight kids, I can. My kids are older, but I do get some ideas from her still.
4-Their love for one another. Jon said in one episode that he would do whatever it took to give his kids what they needed. That's one reason why they are doing this show. His dedication is inspiring.
Watch it and you will see why I love it.

Do you have a minute? I think I need to vomit.

2008-05-03T18:53:00.001-07:00

People deal with their problems in different ways. Some people yell and scream. Others are passive aggressive. Personally, I like to vomit. Verbal vomiting is what I like to call it. Anyone who really knows me, knows that when I have something troubling me, I must vomit. It's that simple. I have to get it off my chest. Release the weight off my shoulders; get that monkey off my back. I will carry around that problem like a suitcase through a packed airport until I am able to regurgitate it. (And by the way, the picture at the left has absolutely nothing to do with this post, except that it's the only one I could download from my files without a hassle. I really wanted the one with 2 ladies chatting over lattes.)
I'm not the only one who uses this technique. Oh, lot's of females do it. Females carry around so much guilt anyway, that they really have to have something that works for them or the literally would explode, especially mothers. Guilt is the parttime job that mothers have. (Wow, that's a great topic. I'll have to use that for another post.) So here's the mom (me or you) with the kids, the school issues, the Mount Rushmore of laundry, the teachers who don't budge from their lesson plans from 10 years ago (another great post), the husband (I really don't need to expand on this, do I?), the house, the mother down the street who won't discipline her child so he kicks your kid in the balls, the young girl at the checkout counter who would rather talk to her coworker about what happened downtown than ring you up quickly and now you are late to pick up the kids (hmm, maybe she's verbal vomiting, too.) Then your internal "stomach" just can't take it anymore and you must find the closest friend via phone, text, or gee, just use that stranger in the Foodlion to vent about the girl at the last store at least. By the way, beware of the female who walks around with the complete stress attack face- she either doesn't know she has to vomit, or can't find/trust someone to vomit to. This is a ticking timebomb; take cover immediately.
But, don't think I go around vomiting all the time. I recipricate, too. It's my female obligation to do so. It's a great boost to the old ego, too, like volunteering. I love when someone else does the verbal vomit on me. 1- It makes my problems seem so small. 2- I know that other females need to verbal vomit just like me, especially those women who like to pretend they always have it together. 3- I know I've really helped someone else. And females are natural helpers. I really feel like I'm doing a civic duty when I sit and listen to a complete stranger ramble on about a gripe. The other day a woman described to me the day she was having with her job, getting lost while driving in the car which had no air conditioning, being late to pick up her daughter from school, who was in detention. (my kid was in detention, too, but it didn't seem so bad after all that.) So while she verbal vomited, I did what any female would do, I held her hair back, no just kidding. I listened quietly, nodded my head in agreement, and waited until it was all over before I spoke. She apologized, but she didn't need to. I told her that her day would get better, and not to worry. But let me reiterate one important point here- listening.
Listening is very important to a successful verbal vomit. To a newcomer on the receiving end of the verbal vomit, it is often overlooked and undervalued. A newcomer might feel the need to interject prematurely. (I have a relative who does this and I just keep right on driving my bus through that road block, even if I feel the need to repeat a certain point- I will say it over and over.) They may feel the need to give some therapy advice because that's what females do. They give advice and try to help. But the timing of the advice and help needs to be after everything has been regurgitated. Otherwise, you'll be medicating, then vomiting the medication. And the person doing the vomiting will just keep on, and on, until the bad feeling has subsided. And what if the receiver interjects prematurely, then leaves? Well, then the vomiter will have to go on to someone else, starting from the beginning of the story, and hope to get it all out this time.
Speaking of the receiving end, men are not good receivers, except maybe gay men. Men are fixers, or so they think. Men are also impatient and those two qualities- fixing and impatience, are poison to a verbal vomit. They don't listen to the whole vomit. They don't want to be vomited on because to them, it sounds like nails on the chalkboard. I'm not beating a dead horse here, but I just want to repeat...MEN DON'T LISTEN and they don't take time to listen. Well, except when their pants are down. So anyway, they don't have time to hear the whole thing, then they aren't really listening to the details in the 1st place, and then they just go in, with their hammer and screwdriver and fix that thing that's making the squeak, and keeping them from watching football, or whatever. A friend of mine didn't know this trait, and at the end of it she said to her husband, "I don't need you to "fix it," I just wanted to get it off my chest and talk about it." By the way, my mom is a great receiver. She never interrupts, ever; shows empathy (well, usually) which for me, this means she always takes MY side (another thing men don't do-(dag, another great post) my guy always plays devil's advocate which is completely annoying; and my mom usually doesn't give specific advice, which makes me feel good because eventually I solve my own problems, just like a grown up should; and she always has time for the verbal vomit, even if she is in the middle of cooking, she'll turn the stove off, sit down and take as long as I need. Thanks Mom! Speaking of receivers, each person I talk to plays a different role and I know who to go to when- one sister gives me advice like the Encyclopedia Britannica, one gives information but generally gives me the "stop feeling sorry for yourself" therapy speech and slap in the face, and then one friend gets as dramatic as I do because she lives here and knows most of the people I am talking about.

On a final note, here are some tips for verbal vomiting:

some vomiting takes more than one go-around, just like a bad stomach virus. If you feel the need or urge to let it out again because the last 2 or 3 didn't work, then by all means, go for it. But be sure to find different people to vomit to; don't pick the same person/people over and over again. They'll start running the next time they see you. The other day my child's teacher did something so infuriating that it took 5-6 people to verbal vomit to, before I even felt a little relief (well, during two of those I was gathering information from parents familiar with the classroom.)
you might not need to get around a lot of other people- you don't want to spread it to unwilling, innocent bystanders (the kids, the family dog, good employees.) Just like a virus, don't spread your germ to others.
also, don't eat any greasy foods, in other words, stay away from stressful situations or people that stress you out.

During my last verbal vomiting binge I made sure to do what's listed above, and I also did the following:

I asked if they had a minute
I kept it brief
I interjected some humor so as to keep it interesting for the receiver
tired not to use my hands too much; gets the receiver confused
I bought lunch for one person (yes, I really did this)
I complimented them on their hair or a piece of clothing sometime during the vomit
and most importantly, I didn't get any verbal vomit on them (they walked away without feeling emotionally drained)

So they next time a total stranger (or a good friend) walks up to you (or calls you) and says, "You'll never believe what just happened to me........" Or .....when your child's teacher calls you at 9 a.m. and asks if you have a minute.........you'll know what to do and then you can thank me.

Ahem, you're welcome.

Cheetos For the Brain- Part 3

2007-07-28T10:25:00.000-07:00

I dare use the title "Cheetos For The Brain" when I write about the next t.v. show- "Deadliest Catch." It is more educational than the other shows I have placed in this category. I love this show. The kids love this show. Everyone I know loves this show.

I can't believe what these men have to go through to catch these crabs and earn a living. Can you imagine breaking off huge blocks of ice only to have it slammed into your ankles as a huge icy wave crashes over your head? How can you feel your own body in temperatures like that? And what if your coworker decides he can't take it anymore and quits? Now you have to do his job and your job, too. Sleep-deprived fishermen. How do they avoid making life-threatening mistakes? Sitting at your cubicle, craving some Starbuck's? Go down the street and grab one. Not for these guys. If it's not coffee break time, you are out of luck.

I have so much respect for people like that. God Bless them!

Oops we did it again

2007-07-28T10:16:00.001-07:00

His Royal Highness is named Leonardo. I can't believe we have another dog, but how could I resist? We are working with our yellow lab on her nurturing skills. I hope she will let her female nature take over and she will learn to protect her not pounce on her.

A Public Service Announcement

2007-06-29T10:57:00.000-07:00

You can call me paranoid, or you can thank me. I came across this website a while ago and everytime I pass it on to a friend, they always thank me. It is the NC Registry for Sexual Offenders- http://www.ncfindoffender.com/

You can plug in your address- home address, workplace address, your child's daycare/school, etc. and search a 1, 3, or 5 mile radius to find the sexual offenders in your neighborhood or other location. They show the picture, address, and specifics of the offender, his crime, etc. It was startling to me to search this website for the first time. Some faces actually looked familiar.
If you do not live in North Carolina, I'm sure your state has the same sort of website as well.

In addition, the State's Attorney General has a website, too. It is- http://www.noscamnc.gov/
Just as the name infers, it focuses on scams to people and businesses in North Carolina. Recently I heard a lecture given by someone from the governor's office regarding internet safety with your children/teens. Even though my kids don't use the internet without me, I found it to be very informative.

There's A New Dog In Town

2007-06-19T08:04:00.001-07:00

"If you don't own a dog, at least one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your life" - Roger Caras

I mean, c'mon. Do I even need to write anything else for this blog?

Yes, I know, she's made mistakes and sometimes she does things that irritate me, but she's so darn adorable. And all she wants is love and attention, some food and lots of water. Gee this dog drinks so much more than our little dachshund.

I just have to say that growing up, I never had a dog. Once I moved out on my own, we got one and I've been hooked ever since. It's like someone who said they've been rich and they've been poor. And they much prefer being rich....well, I much prefer being with dog, than without.

Ending of a Cafe

2007-06-15T13:13:00.000-07:00

Well, I am approaching the end of an era, so to speak. We sold our cute, little cafe. Although I am relieved to be rid of the responsibility, I must say it was a learning experience. When you own your own business it is very different from working for someone else. The burden of responsibility is heavier, but the rewards can be more fulfilling, too. You will learn a lot about yourself, too. But I met a lot of great people and enjoyed most everyday I walked into work. But I really enjoy driving by and not having to stop there, everyday.

How To Be A Good Guest

2007-06-09T11:33:00.000-07:00

It's summertime and with it come the visitors- relatives and friends. So here are a few tips on being.......

The Perfect House Guest

1-Tell your host the time frame when you are thinking of visiting. Ask if the time is right. Your host has a life and sometimes they already have things planned. Or maybe the host is dealing with an extra amount of stress. You need to know that and plan your stay accordingly, to what works best for the host and their family.

2- Let your guest know how long your stay is. Even the closest of friends needs to let the host know when they plan to leave. If you aren't sure, set a date anyway. They may be happy to see you come for a visit, but they need to know when you will be leaving, so their life can resume after you leave. And besides, it's just polite to let your host know how long your stay is.

3- Be aware and respectful of their routine- what time they get up, what time they go to sleep, the childrens' schedules, their job schedule, previously planned events, or appointments, etc. Don't be a high maintenance guest- requiring special arrangements, a special routine for dining, or making a fuss over something the family has already planned. Go with the flow, is the best suggestion.

4- Remember that a home is a retreat or place of solitude. It's a place away from the pressures of a job, boss, school, bad day, rude customer, etc. Your host might need a few minutes to wind down from a bad day, or might need some personal time and space. Remember, not everyone is on vacation like you are.

5- Help out around the house. Cleaning- yes, everyone has a certain way they like their house cleaned, or a special way they want the dishes arranged in the dishwasher, but everyone likes a clean house, so help out. No one is that picky about how it gets done, as long as it gets done. This doesn't mean you have to scrub the tub, or mop the floors, but pick up after yourself. Rinse out the shower after you use it. Wipe off the counter after you are done. Don't cause extra work for the host. If in doubt, ask. If the host doesn't want your help, they'll tell you. Meals- ask if you can prepare a meal for the family one night. Take the burden off the host for one night. Believe me, it will be greatly welcomed. If cooking isn't your thing, buy the groceries for a meal, or a special appetizer or dessert.

6- Say "thank you" and be gracious. Gifts are nice- flowers, stationery, or wine, but gifts are not at all necessary. Just by showing that you appreciate their hospitality through your gracious behavior, is enough of a "gift." The host and the family have opened up their home to you. They have rearranged things and put things on hold for you during your visit. No matter how great of a guest you are always remember that once you leave, things will "go back to normal," whatever normal is to that family.

Being a good guest will not only bring more invitations into their home but it will leave everyone with good memories from your stay. Don't be like the old saying, "Guests are like fish, after 3 days, they are rotten."

Cheetos For The Brain- Part 2

2007-03-20T08:44:00.000-07:00

Well I'm sure that some of you have heard of or actually viewed, the series of reality television shows depicting housewives in California- The Housewives of Orange County. It's a humorous blend of Stepford Wives and The Girls Next Door. All of these women are living in Orange County, California, in a gated community. Some work and some don't. Some have children, some don't. Some are married, and some aren't. It depicts the trials and tribulations of the "normal" everyday life they lead. I know that what is filmed and shown on the show is all part of the editing process, but I really wonder what they are thinking when they allow a camera crew to come into their homes and film them 24/7.

Somehow this show makes me feel sad for a few of the women. The very successful real estate agent owns 5 homes (I believe) and states how much she loves and "craves" money. She owns plenty of expensive jewelry, clothing, multiple vehicles, and other luxury items. But she is in what appears to be a completely loveless marriage. Even her teenage daughter thinks she should have an affair.

Then you have the successful insurance agent. She spends more time mothering over her ungrateful son and daughter than spending time with her husband. In one episode she makes a surprise visit to her son's college apartment, and is rudely welcomed. Embarrassed in front of her son's friends, she ends up crying in the bathroom. He proceeds to throw the insults to dear old mom while his friends listen in disbelief. Mind you, he is surrounded by all the luxuries his mom has given him- apartment, furnishings, etc. Finally, she is welcomed into the party and proceeds to do a beer bong amongst his friends. She then proceeds to offer him a deal- if he makes good grades this semester, she will buy him a new car. Come on lady, give him a swift kick in the you know what instead.

The youngest of the group, Jo, is completely "owned" by her over-possessive boyfriend. Her boyfriend is so over-possessive with her, in such a negative way, that I caught myself yelling at the television and her. He is worth a blog post all his own. Their relationship could definitely be a case study in a Psych. class. I just want to say to her, "Run Jo, run." Like from the movie Forrest Gump...run Forrest, run. I don't know who's playing whom. Is she playing him to keep her hands in his purse or is she that needy of a man's approval? Or is he playing her to keep a woman in his house/life to help raise his kids from a previous marriage? Or does he have to have a beautiful, younger woman beside him to make him feel successful? As the show progresses, I was glad to see they were making a split and she was moving away- becoming more independent from him.

Then there's the beautiful blonde who is searching for the man to take care of her. She states, "I've been poor, and I've had money, and believe me, I'd rather have money. No duh!! She's a single mother of a teenage girl trying to find her own independence and a teenage boy who is constantly in trouble. She finally finds the man of her dreams- rich, handsome, and great with kids. They are planning a wedding and it looks like a real life Brady Bunch. Things are going well, but even with the perfect man to help and plenty of money to help, she is still plagued with single parenthood problems. Her daughter can't keep the condo free of cat poop, can't decide what to do about school, and doesn't have a job. Her son, who she feels guilty about since she is living the high life while he is confined to a juvenile detention center, keeps playing on her guilt.

All in all, I guess this program shows people 2 things: 1-money doesn't buy happiness, and if it does, you still have problems that money can't solve. 2-the pasture isn't always greener on the other side.

Cheetos for the Brain

2007-01-16T18:21:00.000-08:00

Did you ever find yourself watching a television
program that most might consider as just "cheap television?" Bad t.v.; something that you wouldn't normally watch, but for some reason you can't turn the channel. Sort of like a car wreck- you shouldn't stare, but you do. And just like looking at the car wreck, you're embarrased to admit that you watched the show. We all do it. But why? It's Cheetos for the brain- or at least that's my theory and I'm sticking to it. So here's my first in a series of .....

Shows I'm Embarrassed To Admit I Watch
and sometimes enjoy

My Super Sweet Sixteen- MTV

I was channel surfing and caught this ridiculous show, but couldn't stop watching it. I was astounded at the level of low class, rude, and crass behavior. I am appalled that the parents of these teens permit this behavior. In most cases I see the parent encouraging the selfish, obnoxious brats and condone their childish temper-tantrums. The show details the lavish planning of a teen's rite of passage into their 16th year of existence. It always showcases a very wealthy family's teenager and how they plan a lavish party. They show everything from the planning, the invitation process (yes, process- these kids don't use the postal service), to the clothing, the entertainment, and the trials and tribulations of planning an "EVENT" that will talked about and envied by all for years and years to come (dum, dum, dum- dramatic music.) The little princess or prince is burdened by details of the grand spectacle and having to deal with the most common breed of people (that would be everybody else) "that just have no sense of style or class, Mommy/Daddy," in the planning and execution of THEIR PARTY is just too much for some teens.

THE ATTIRE- This usually involves a trip to the most expensive clothing boutique, designer shop, haute couture salon, a visit from a celebrity stylist, or a trip to Paris, or some other city because, "gasp" they cannot be outdone by anyone else at the party. Most teens have 2 dresses/outfits/costumes, whatever- one for the grand entrance and the other for the rest of the party. It usually entails some throwing of clothing and comments about someone's bad taste in fashion. If it's a girl teen, there is always an enoromous show of breasts and cleavage.

THE INVITATION PROCESS- Oh yes, this is a process. MTV always shows the pompous brat deciding which lucky ones will be chosen to attend the grand gala, and which ones are so uncool and loathsome that they would never be invited out from the "leper island" they must live on. Sometimes they show the anguish of the teens not "tapped" to appear before the guest of honor. Once in a while, they crash the party and the super sweet 16 actually looks like the victum, for about 20 seconds- tears of sorrow; how can these people be doing this to me? Everyone wants a piece of me and I just can't do it anymore.

THE GRAND ENTRANCE- This event usually involves a large or showy vehicle driven by a chauffeur. They show all the "friends" waiting in sheer anticipation of the grand arrival of the brat that they really don't like, but are relieved they were invited by him/her, none the less.

THE ENTERTAINMENT- The entertainment is a spectacle, too. This part usually involves a cast of entertainers (circus, performance artists, or bevy of busty girls/six-pack ab guys who are hired to walk around, dance around, carry, fawn over, or maybe even feed the guest of honor.) The audition process of choosing these girls or guys fits right in line with the rest of the teen's low-class morals. But, sometimes the entertainer is a singer/rapper/hip-hop entertainer (usually someone who has a high level of self-importance, too, and demands a large amount of money to perform- just to see if they can get it.)

Frankly, MTV does a great job of editing to show the truely shallow people in this world, what money does to them. It intertwines fits of crying, selfishness, abnormal levels of self importance, and a lack of concern for anyone else not devoted to their own cause- My Party and Me. Oh wait, I can't forget the grand finale of ...

THE NEW VEHICLE-Always a lavish, expensive, ridiculous vehicle for a new teen driver. It is always preluded by a scene with the parent (usually the dad) who refuses to buy the vehicle when they go car shopping. Side note: how did they get to the overly, expensive, car dealership in the first place to have the "I'm not buying this car for you" conversation? Hummm... This scene involves another foot-stomping temper tantrum, and is sometimes laced with the lip-pouting, or "daddy-smoozing" little girl routine. But, the parent, never to let down the expectations of the little princess/prince, always comes through with the car of their dreams. Oh, Daddy, you did buy it!! (wink, wink)

Nauseating, completely nauseating. It is so bad, it makes me want to take all the toys from my kids' rooms, just to make sure my kids don't turn out like this. I really haven't seen one of these kids (and yes, they are kids- a product of their parents) that I liked or would permit my children to associate with. They exhibit disgusting, selfish behavior. But, I will watch this show again if I happen to come across the "marathon." I only wish MTV would show a follow-up with these same kids after a "social, humanitarian intervention" where they actually do something good for society. No, not everyone with money has to be an Oprah, but with the resources they have they could do something else other than spending a gross amount of money on a party that could literally remove 20,000 kids from proverty. (based on a party budget of $100,000 and using $5,000 per child to buy medicine, or provide a clean living space.)

Somebody, please drive these kids to a homeless shelter, food kitchen, children's hospital, hospice care facility, church, library, animal shelter, Burger King, nursing home, something, so they can see that the world doesn't revolve around them.

A New Venture/Adventure

2006-11-14T22:42:00.000-08:00

If life wasn't busy enough already, I just had to take on one more new "project." I'm very excited to announce that I (we, in the married world) will be opening a new business very soon. With the help of my husband, we are opening a new cafe, sister cafe to our other restaurant. We are only 1-2 weeks away from the opening date. Although we have talked for years about opening another place, this opportunity came together almost overnight. Sometimes things are either meant to be or not. Timing is everything. But that's just one of the items I've learned so far from this venture, or adventure. I will be updating everyone on the status and happenings of owning your own business. It is something that more and more Americans are attempting these days. I will share both the trials and tribulations of being self-employed. Once you become a self employed person, your demeanor and thought process changes. It changes for the whole family. My children know that we have to make certain sacrifices in order to have a successful business. Of course there are advantages and disadvantages to being a "self employed" family. I will share some of those with you in other posts. I can say for sure though that my children know more about owning a business than most. They surprise me alot. They are very good at marketing- naturals. They are learning and experiencing first hand what it's like to start a business and run a business. I will share some of their insight, ideas, and comments later. But, for right now, I just need to get open! Because as the kids say, "Mom, we're paying rent and we're not even open. That's money out the window." Gee, they're so smart.

Homework Headache Remedies

2006-11-04T09:37:00.000-08:00

Every parent with a school-age child who has homework cringes over the homework issue. Some grades seem to have more homework than others. Some children seem to handle homework better than others. But, being a parent, I am constantly seeking to control the "homework demon." It is a trial and error project for us. I have tried some things and they worked, or determined that other tricks just didn't work for us or my child. If you have this problem, I would suggest a few things:

Talk with your child's teacher. She/he knows your child and how your child works during class time. Your child's teacher knows the amount of homework given and how long it should take to complete it at home. Also, if it's a veteran teacher, they probably have some great ideas to use at home.
Use a timer. Get a basic kitchen timer. I tried this method with my child based on his teacher's recommendation. My child seems to procrastinate and a timer gives him a time limit. It also challenges him, which he likes. He needs to be challenged a lot.
Do homework right after school, as soon as you get home. Another idea I tried was to let him play for 30 minutes after he got home, then start homework. This method did not work. He complained of being tired and the homework took longer than ever and it ran into dinnertime. Running errands after school? Have a homework kit in the car- clipboard, paper, pencils, sharpener, eraser, etc.
Have a quiet place to do homework. This seems like a common sense thing, but often we forget about it. The kitchen table works for us. I can see him when he's looking out the window, or help when he has a question. If you have another child, separate them. My son gets easily distracted. My friend has a 2 boys. The younger child has no homework, so they always have a friend over to keep the younger one occupied in another room. Also, provide a quick snack during the homework time. The boost will help with afterschool energy slump.
Have a homework buddy phone list. A phone list of other students/parents in your child's class who can help with incomplete homework sheets, leaving books at school, general questions, etc. It helps so much to have another parent to call for a quick question like, "in math, are they supposed to do the odds or the evens?" Or if you see a paper in your child's binder that hasn't been done and his answer is insufficient. Call someone else to see if they know about the due date on it. I have a "circle of parents" and it is irreplaceable.
Do upcoming homework on the weekends. Ask your child's teacher if there are lengthy assignments that can be done over the weekend instead of a weeknight. Every week my child has 20 spelling words he has to look up in the glossary and write every single definition. This task takes a long time. Therefore, he does this on the weekend. Forget his spelling book? This happened once. Once. I copied the glossary. Now we keep our copy at home so he never has to worry about that again. Sometimes I copy the upcoming chapter and keep it handy, too. He hated doing the definitions the 1st time, but later that week, thanked me for making him do it over the weekend. He had more time to play on the night the definitions were assigned.
Any project that is given a 1, 2, or 3 week completion time, do it early. Again, these assignments can be worked on in intervals ahead of time- during a weekend or a teacher's workday. It never fails, there always seems to be a heavier load of homework or studying due at the same time as the due date to the special project.
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. This is a saying I taught my children. Large projects cannot be completed in one day or at one sitting. Teach your child how to do small increments of a large project so they will not become overwhelmed. Break down the project into daily steps. This will help in so many ways down the road.
Develop a homework book or planner. My child's school started this in 2nd grade. It's simple. Every homework assignment gets written down in the homework book including sugject, page number, question numbers, and any other pertinent information needed to complete the assignment correctly. You look at it every day, so you know what is to be completed. He/she refers to it every day. It is a simple organization technique.
Have your child make a simple schedule. This is a time management skill that will help your child determine how much time he/she spends or should spend on a particular activity- whether it is actual homework, studying, or playtime. This is great for longer projects, too. They can schedule a certain amount of time for the project each day.
Complete harder assignments first. Harder assignments require more energy. You have more energy at the beginning of homework time than near the end. Children usually want to do the easy or fun assignments first, but save them for the end. This will also be a motivational tactic to complete all of the homework on a timely basis.
Check this article on the Dr. Phil website: http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/189. It has some good information. I will be trying out some of the techniques.

NOTE: These are ideas. They may or may not work for you or your child, but are worth a try. I will continue to search for helpful hints and update this list. If you have any tips, please share them.

A New Project

2006-10-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

I recently viewed a blog where a project by Michael Green was profiled. Being a list fanatic, I was completely intrigued. His project is to make a list of 101 things he wants to accomplish in 1001 days. Once you view his blog, you will see not only his list, but have access to many, many others. I keep a list of things in my head, which is exactly why is gets reorganized alot, misplaced, or replaced with more pressing lists, like "things I have to do TODAY." Maybe subconsciously, I view my list as my journey and if I complete my list, I'll have nothing else to strive towards? Not a chance, there are too many things to do out there and I'm just getting started. So, with that said, I add this to my list, "make list of 101 things to do in 1001 days." And as I tell my husband, "I'll get right on that."

Yummy Sushi for Kids

2006-10-01T09:01:00.000-07:00

I just saw this recipe on a Rachel Ray episode. It's "sushi" for kids. It looked like so much fun, I had to try it. It was really easy, very tasty, and the kids LOVED it. Simply use the recipe for rice krispies treats. Roll the rice krispies onto a cookie sheet or sheet of wax paper. TIP: which ever you use, spray with quick release pan spray (Pam) and roll it out to about a 1" depth, rectangle. Let it cool. Roll 2 strawberry flavored licorice sticks inside of a strip of the rice krispy- just like making a jelly roll. Take a green fruit rollup sheet and wrap around your rice krispy "jelly roll." Spray a knife with the pan spray and cut roll into 1-1 1/2 " peices. Serve with chopsticks! If you like, add a dipping sauce of chocolate syrup (looks just like soy sauce.) Now you have delicious sushi treats that your kids will love.

Do Clothes Make The Dude?

2006-09-30T12:52:00.000-07:00

Picture Day was last week and the kids didn't have to wear their normal uniforms that day. The school rules regarding dress were so tight that the kids actually asked to wear their uniforms anyway. We quickly rummaged through closets and drawers the night before. They tried on dressy khakis and church clothing- most they had outgrown. But after a search, we came up with a few options. Most of these options were not suitable to the youngest. Evidently he has a style to maintain. The oldest wore my first choice, but the youngest would not be so easy. He looked so cute in khakis, a tee shirt and a denim button-up untucked. But he wasn't going for it in the least. After a 30 minute negotiation (and yes, he negotiates like a seasoned attorney) we agreed on something. The next morning, they both looked adorable. That afternoon, I asked how everything went, to which they both muttered, "Fine." Then the oldest asked if I would buy him a polo shirt with an alligator on it. Oh great, I thought. It has started already. Clothing Envy. I remember wanting a pair of Levi's with the red tag, just like everyone else had. My parents wouldn't buy them. Remembering this feeling, but being an adult now, I knew what I had to say to my child. I asked him if a lot of the boys wore those polos for picture day. He said yes. I asked him if he felt like he didn't get the memo regarding what everyone was going to wear? He said yes. So I said yes, too. Yes, to the polo with the little alligator on it. Do clothes make the dude? Or does the dude make the clothes? It's not everyday I give in to clothing envy, but that day it just seemed to be the right thing to do. Well, that was 3 weeks ago. We haven't purchased the shirt yet. And he hasn't mentioned it since.

A Vist To The Doc

2006-09-30T12:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took my kids to the doctor. One needed a checkup and the other, well he just had to come with us. And he didn't hesitate to share with me how bored he was the entire time. Or how much he wanted his Gameboy so he could play a new game he just bought earlier that day. At that age (6) they have no concept of time either. He thought since we had 20 minutes to kill before our appointment, that we could just drive home, and pick up his Gameboy and come right back. Like someone would hold our place in the "doctor line" until we got back. Finally the doctor walked in and asked the oldest one to get up on the examination table. Then it hit me like a flashback from the past. I suddenly had a flashback to another appointment when the doctor was checking him as a newborn. You know, they lay the baby on the table, stretch them out a little, and mark the paper where the top of the head starts and the bottom of the feet rest- to get a measurement of length. My oldest is 9 now. But for a moment, well longer actually, I wanted him to be 1 month old again. To hold your newborn baby and have that baby lay his head on your shoulder is the best feeling there is. Well...I was pretty ecstatic when he told me he had absolutely no homework the other night. But it was no match for my flashback.